"There's a difference between being dragged into a battle for life and death, and walking into the arena with your head held up high"
I read this line, although not perfectly quoted, from Harry Potter. It was Albus Dumbledore's words to Harry, and it sort of got my attention. It's funny how even a book like Harry Potter could have spoken to me, but I really think this sentence makes alot of sense.
I'm sure everyone knows that life has its many complexities and challenges that we cannot possibly predict or fathom. Noone knows what tomorrow, or even the next blinking moment would bring. Life, just isn't easy. There are times when life seems to be toying with us, making fools out of our already trying existence.
But nevertheless, even till the battle for our lives (kind of dramatic here), we have to maintain the sense of dignity. Would you rather be dragged, screaming and wailing into an arena with all odds against you, or make a decision to face the music and give it your all? I would definitely choose the latter, so that at the end of the day, whether I stand in the middle with my hand held high in triumph, or I lay on my back in the dust in defeat, I would be able to look at myself without regrets. There have already been many instances in my life which I had wished I did not make certain decisions, when I wished that I could have tried harder, thought and planned further and been more mature and rational. Lessons which I have learnt the hard way, through tears and bloodshed, heartache and sorrow; in joy and laughter, in embarrassment and celebrations. But I'm constantly learning, continually changing and constantly growing. Who I was just yesterday, may not be the same person whom you're talking to today. Who I was an hour ago, may not be the same Alywin who made that weird remark that dumbfounded you just seconds ago. As I like to tell people who sought to know who I am, "Noone will really get to know who I really am, and the intricate nature that makes me who I am. How I operate and how things happen in my life." Well, maybe I may be predictable most of the time, but that's because a regular pattern has been etched out on the outer surface of response. But on the inside, even I have no idea what births every moment. That's how my world is I suppose. Aly-ism. Welcome to my life.
I do not know what to expect, I don't know where the journey will lead us. But for now, I'm contented to just know that you know I exist. Every part of me wants to go forward, but I can't because I know you don't want to. So I shall bind that feeling heart of mine, lock in the loving emotions which I would like to pour out and shower you with, and be.. your good friend.